I Apparently Need More Goals

I think of myself as a person with good will-power. I can generally eat just one small piece of really good dessert and feel satisfied. I have been known to have ice cream go bad--you know, covered in ice crystals, and flavored like the freezer itself--before the container is empty. But, lately, I seem to be an eating MACHINE:

Handfuls of Easter candy? Check.

Morning Cake for breakfast and for dessert (covered in melted Easter chocolate)? Check.

Pretzel niblets...nibbled by the mindless fistful while answering emails? Check.

Extra bites of homemade asparagus risotto while doing the dishes, even though I'm already full? Check.

You get the point. If it's not tied down or made of wood, I'm eating it.

According to my pedometer, I have been increasing my daily steps. I've topped 6000 at least twice a week, reached 5000 a few more days, and low days are now equal to what used to be average. But, honestly, another 1500 steps is like 50 calories burned. It hardly justifies eating a Cadbury Cream Egg in celebration.

So I've decided I need to start counting calories again. This is a boring task, but it does keep me from shoving jelly beans, in flavors I don't even particularly like (who invented strawberry candy, anyway?!), into my mouth while sitting at the computer after the kids go to bed. This is my downfall, you see -- mindless eating. I'm very good at balancing foods at meals, not overeating except for at the occasional dinner party, and not baking too many cookies in the first place. But I am the worst for eating the last five bites of mac-n-cheese on my kids' plates after lunchtime, or grabbing a handful of nuts to munch while grading papers. If I have to write it down, I have to think about it. And if I have to think about it, I can stop myself from eating it.

I know it would help if I would get off my a$$ and exercise. But until it stops snowing intermittently with overcast rainy days, I don't see myself going out for a whole lot of runs. And, frankly, I'm bored by the 17-minute On Demand workouts on cable. Sure, it's really fun to Bhangra dance with your kids, and it ups the steps on the pedometer, but it's not the same as a three-mile run. Also, exercising inside is palatable if you can watch mindless eye-candy TV at the same time. But, hello? Can you say Writers' Strike? Besides, even if there were episodes featuring my TV Land Boyfriend on, how could I watch them if I had to play an exercise video in order to work out?

So you can see why the only thing to do is read lots of blogs and eat pastel-colored M&Ms.

I can hear you, "excuses schmexcuses." But getting back into an exercise routine is really hard. So my promise to myself is to keep tracking steps, start counting calories again, and run whenever the weather is nice. And once I get back into exercising regularly, my prize will be to stop counting calories. Hopefully by then, I will have kicked my Peeps addiction. (And yes, I do hate them too. But they're sitting there, so sugary and lavendar, and I forget how much I don't like them till I eat one again...)

I'm not all "ooh, I need to be a size -4 by summer." But I would like to be able to wear my bathing suit on the beach without feeling the need to purchase a color coordinated silk bag to cover my head with so no one will know whose embarrassing body this is. That seems like a reasonable goal, don't you think? I'll let you know how it goes.