It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

What an excellent day to celebrate. Trot out your eye patches, mateys, and suit up in yer rags, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I told that to Son, expecting him to be really excited when I explained that perhaps we should try to talk like pirates all day long.

His immediate response, perhaps occasioned by his recent entrance into school, where there are many many rules about right and wrong, was, "But I don't know all the words! How are we supposed to talk like pirates if we don't know what we're saying. We might say "you're stupid" if we don't know what we're saying. Or we might say, "you're dumb.""

Whereupon, I immediately began typing his anxieties into the handy-dandy pirate talk translator, so that I could show him how easy it was to talk like a pirate.

And then I read out the following, in my best piratical voice, with appropriate roars and guttural inflection, and especially raised voices on key phrases.
But I don't be knowin' all th' words! How be we supposed to speak like a band 'o pirates if we don't be knowin' what we're sayin'. We might shout "ye're stupid" if we don't be knowin' what we're sayin'. Or we might shout, "ye're dumb."

He and Daughter were delighted, and I had to read the paragraph three times.

So, if you've got nothing better to do today, may I suggest asking the pirate translator to tell you how to shout yer thots in scurvy pirate? Or read your kids How I Became a Pirate. Or make tiny eye patches for all the ark animals you own. Or go to your local library dressed as a pirate, as if that's totally normal.

However you do it, Happy Pirate Day!